The Quiet Picture

Last week was a total washout. First it was the summer tyres in 20 cm snow and then when I was moving the tyres, I strained my back. As if proof was needed that I don’t have a strong back… the tyres don’t weigh that much. But sure enough, it immobilised me and suddenly life became very difficult. Everything from standing, sitting, and lying down to moving around was painful. In fact, it just hurt, regardless. So when it only got worse the second day, I called the nurse for some advice. I was sure that it was only the muscles, but nothing like it has ever happened to me so I wanted to hear some reassurance that I should just take it easy and ride it out. Plain horse sense, but I wanted to hear the comforting words from a healthcare pro.So I called the advice line at the Ljusdal hospital. As soon as I explained my problem, the nurse told me to call the doctor instead. Huh, alright then. So I called the doctor’s office and got to speak with another nurse. When I got past the “my back hurts” part, the nurse advised me to contact the physiotherapist. I told her that I can’t come to Ljusdal – I can barely move. Well, apparently the nurse subscribes to the “attack is the best defence” strategy and asked me why I’m calling Ljusdal then. I tried to say that I just wanted some advice and my doctor is in Ljusdal and I don’t know the number for the Los doctor anyway. The nurse, obviously thinking that I wanted to see a doctor (euh, I was told to call the doctor when I called the advice line), informed me that the doctor can’t do much, it’s just painkillers and exercise that helps. Caught offguard by this turn of events, I feebly tried to repeat that I just wanted to hear the prognosis, and she repeated that I should either get some massage or do some exercises with the physiotherapist. I reminded her that I can’t come to Ljusdal so the good nurse advised me that there is a physiotherapist in Färila as well. I had to bite my tongue. I mean, exactly how does that work? After I had repeatedly said that I can’t come to Ljusdal (58 km from Los), she figures that I can get to Färila (41 km from Los)? Oh yes, those 17 km apparently make all the difference when you can’t move! But, I controlled myself, and finally got my point through, I just simply wanted to hear the prognosis and reassurance that painkillers, Zon and taking it easy would do the trick and she confirmed this and said that it should go over in 2 weeks. Thank you kindly, it wasn’t really all that difficult, now was it?

This conversation is so typical. It seems that every time I contact the hospital or a doctor I just end up defending myself. Back in England I went through a round of frustration with the GP before he finally sent me to a specialist, who was able to diagnose the problem straight away (there’s a structural fault in my hip). A few years ago I had to go to the ER when my neck pain got so severe that painkillers didn’t have any effect and I wasn’t able to move my head. The whelp of a doctor told me that I should learn to know my body and do some sports. Well, fair enough, being active does prevent the frequent neck and shoulder aches so touché. What I was trying to say, I can’t bloody well move my head right now, please help me! I gave up and exited the room not knowing if I should laugh or cry. A year later I was diagnosed with high blood pressure which no doubt was partially responsible for the repeated aches. I know of a guy who went to the ER with a broken foot but had to wait for hours before tended to. And why? Because the nurse just didn’t believe him – there are so many people who complain about broken bones for no reason that the medical personnel just simply have become blasé and disregard them. The same way the GP disregarded the pain in my hip and the young doctor disregarded my stuck neck.

I have never complained about an illness I don’t have. I’m not fishing for sick leave. I’m not fishing for medication. I’m not fishing for anything – I’m just simply asking for some help! Even if my problems aren’t life threatening, they are serious enough to be a concern and the only thing the doctor or nurse needs to do is to take me seriously. The last thing I need is to be treated condescendingly and be put in front of the Spanish Inquisition and defend myself!

But while I complain about my frustration, I also have to admit that they are justified in their misgivings about their patients. I know that people fake illnesses just to get off work, or get compensation, or get drugs, or whatever. I know for a fact that there are people who bribe their doctor to prescribe extended sick leave and then enjoy their paid vacation in full health.

And it’s because of these losers that I have to defend myself during a simple call for advice. I despise them, even if the sentiment will be lost on them. They obviously abandoned all sense of morality the moment they decided they’re somehow entitled to leech off the people who stick it out and pay for the healthcare system which then dismisses the honest taxpayers during their hour of need.

That pisses me off.

I need studs… for my car tyres. Real bad. We got a bit more snow overnight, but since it now has been steadily below freezing, the snow is starting to pack on the roads. I was out walking today, through the snow covered forest (lovely!) to the skiing track and then to the road, where my boots started slipping and sliding quite seriously. Thankfully, I saw a snow plow in action but if there is any packed snow or ice left on the roads, it will be tricky driving with summer tyres. The worst part is that looking at the forecast, it’s going to keep cold so I’m starting to wonder when I’ll make it to Ljusdal to have the tyres changed!Hmm, how quickly the mood changes. From being concerned that we will have a bad winter to the delirium of new snow and now I’m worrying about not being able to get to work…

Never mind Christmas. Winter is all that counts!I woke up early this morning. There was a big chance of snowfall in the night and I knew right away that it had happened - the light that came trough the curtains was too bright to be anything else than snow. The feeling that the first snow creates just can’t be beaten. For a moment I felt 30 years younger, a small child who can hardly stop to eat breakfast because the call of falling snowflakes and promise of snowballs and snowmen are so irresistable… But, 30 years older, the smell of the morning coffee has a certain lure as well so I had my breakfast first! After that, the first steps outside were full of wonder. When you put down your foot and hear the snow crunch, there just isn’t anything that comes close. I took the first steps slowly, looking down at the snow and listening, listening… the happy smile on my face growing all the wider…

I know that this isn’t technically my first snow of the season. I was nearly snowed under already a month ago, but somehow it’s a completely different feeling to get snow at home than on a holiday in the mountains. Yes I had a great time hiking through the snowfall (worried as I was at times). But that was there - this is here. This is the real thing. And I’d better enjoy it while it lasts. The other day, they published a long term forecast which said that it will be a cold winter (yes!) but there will be little snow (oh no!).

Back in May, we got a surprise snowfall which was bad enough to prevent me from driving to work, summer tyres as I had on the car. Instead, I walked up to the Los church and photographed it through the falling snow, so it was only fitting that I would photograph the same church covered in first snow, as well. And ironically, I still have summer tyres on the car so we’ll see what the roads look like on Monday morning!

The beautiful lining on the trees finally gave me an opportunity to take a picture I have been planning all summer. This is what I call home:

My house is just a little bit left of the middle, it can’t actually be seen but the garage nextdoor is clearly visible, and my closest neighbour peeks through the trees as well. Unfortunately there isn’t any viewpoint to see my house unless you come right up the street, but the view I get from my house overlooking the neighbourhood and the hills in the distance is all the better!

There are a few spots along the road to work that I’ve been thinking about photographing some day. The problem is, when they are so readily available, you just keep putting it off. So day after day, I drive past and think that I should photograph that…Amazingly, today was the day. I stopped and took the pictures. When I walked back to the car, I was chased by a couple of mosquitos. It’s 7 October, and we still have mosquitos around! This speaks volumes of how warm the autumn has been. It got me worried about the winter. We’ve had two mild winters in a row, with all that it entails - no extreme cold weather, no long periods of cold weather, and not much snow. If we get a third such winter, I will seriously be considering of moving. If anyone in Alaska happans to be reading this and can offer a job, please do contact me! I hold a master’s degree in translation, primary language English and secondary Swedish, and my native language is Finnish. A pretty useful combination in Alaska, huh? This degree somehow has earned me a job as a Lotus Domino Administrator and I even have a funky certificate from IBM to prove that I’m qualified for the job. I don’t quite feel like I am, but surely a certificate is more important than practical skills… not? If there are no jobs in these areas, I’m willing to take up gardening. Or anything, really.

Anyway, those mosquitos then. I’m sure there are more of them in Alaska than here. I don’t care. What won’t a girl suffer for sub-zero temperatures and a thick snow cover?

The other day I drove past a small river called Hoan. It reminded me of an image I took there a few years ago in the winter - I liked the way there were gaps in the ice and the flowing water could be seen underneath. I called the photo “Life, under the surface” and I intended it to represent the life that can be found in the extreme cold weather in the winter.Drivel.

What a high ideal for a mediocre photo. The real name of the photo should’ve been “Water and ice”. A boring title, but (as such) it would have been an accurate representation of the image!

Maybe there was nothing wrong with my goals, but the realisation came up short. I see this every day; people giving imaginative or poetic titles to photos which fall so far off the mark that it just makes me laugh and move on to the next joke.

After that “Life, under the surface” episode I came to my senses and decided to stick to realistic titles. I have high hopes of one day taking a photograph worthy of a fine name, but even then - a picture speaks more than a thousand words. What’s in a name, then?